Living with Bipolar

I have a diagnosis of Bipolar type 1, I was diagnosed with this a few years ago.  If you don't know what this this means it is a mental illness which means I go through long periods of either very low and depressed or very high and manic moods.
 It was through studying psychology at Birmingham University that I actually could recognize my own symptoms.. I'd had issues with depression and bulimia before but I know when things started to change.  I'd be out roaming the streets, not sleeping for a whole week at a time, doing all the wrong things, then unable to move or get out of bed for weeks I felt so down and suicidal.  Unfortunately for me I get the lows a great deal more than I get the highs, however this is arguably a good thing - the highs are when I am at my most self-destructive, even though at the time I feel unstoppable.
If you can relate to anything I just described though, and you feel it interferes with your life, then please go get some help... go see a doctor.  The sad thing about my ridiculously prolonged degree and my continuous life fuck ups is because I did not get diagnosed when I should of, and therefore didn't get the help I needed.  This applies to my education, my career, my physical health and my life in general.  I'm not gonna just blame all my mistakes on being Bipolar, I've got quite a lot of insight into my condition so I should have helped myself and tried to control it more.  I've not been compliant with medication and therapy at all, and then wonder why my life ends up in pieces after some sort of rampage that I've been on.  But it certainly has a lot to answer for, and I wish people would have some more understanding sometimes.
I've found this website very useful so if you are bipolar or think you are, check it out... don't let yourself feel completely alone:
http://www.bipolardisorderconnect.com/
Anyway, I don't wanna focus on the whole Bipolar thing, I don't want this to be some sort of X-factor sob story that's gonna make you like my poems more!! But I want to admit to it, because I'm not ashamed of it, and now it's part of who I am and probably until I find a way to stabilize it or if I ever will... but I feel I'm making progress!
:)


The Up

The Down