Running away from me

Sometimes when something bad has happened I retreat, 
into a past state, I repeat the past hate. 
I've got no control, can't help it, 
feels like I have no soul because this evil thing has happened 
and so I must deserve every second of this pain.
 It's what causes me to act strange, act insane.
 I needed to be told everything was gonna be okay, 
it wasn't my fault, be nice to hear.
 But people run from me, run in fear. 
"You're fucked up, I don't want to know you, 
I'd rather piss off than show you life can be worth living."
 "I've got too much of my own stuff to sort, without giving any attention to you. 
But I'll update my facebook status and mention you."
 Well done, point well made, doesn't change the fact that I'm beginning to fade 
and no one is here to come to my aid. 
They've washed their hands because I've made demands, 
and the grains of sands in the timer are running out for us. 
I'll have to move on, in time, and start a new, something I always have to do. 
Just wished you could have seen past what I did or said,
 because I was in pain, the mist was red, just like you said. 
Till death do us part, so breaks my heart, 
and things have been said, may as well be dead, 
so I'm not gonna get out of bed.
 I'll act just like a dead body, not moving because I've got nobody. 
Just put me to sleep, to sleep I wish to be, 
because being awake, alone, is agony, unknown.