Today, I'm a survivor

Today, I'm a survivor, because even I'm fed up of the victim.  I've been living this life that is under a life.  Sunk into depression and consumed in my own misery, making me a bitter and hateful person towards the world.  You might all laugh but I had some more reiki healing, (I'm still taking my meds btw anti-depressants, anti-anxieties and mood stabilizers) so try not to worry about this being a sudden shift in mood which mimics mania because I'm certainly not.  I feel light a weight has lifted.  I've done a lot of crying, and I guess it's helped me more than anything because I forgive myself, even if other's don't.  Somebody is telling me to be strong.  The healer says it's an angel.  You might be pure creasing now at my hippie reform lunacy but I don't think it is.  I think faith, has always been, without question, even scientifically the strongest medicine you can take.  This is even proven by the fact that placebo drugs can create mimicking effects in people, just because they believe in it.  But I'm backing away from science.  All about my spirituality again.  Yes, I can actually hear people doubting me but for some reason I am smiling.  Because even though I'll probably be doubted I know myself what has happened. It's all happened for a reason.  The pain, the lamenting misery that everyone has suffered with me.  Most important thing to say is, I am staying away from ANYTHING that is going to interfere with my medication or health, mental or physical.  I wrote the drone about an apocalypse.  One that I predicted.  And I thought it was a world revelation but maybe it was a prophecy self-centered.  I've had my apocalypse now, and I've survived it.  Lost everything.  Now I see what needs to be done, and that I wasn't alone.  So if you truly know what 'the drone' is about.. then it applies to you too.  Be strong.  Beat it.  Then you will be set free.  Yes, I can't act like I've not being a partaker.  Massively, but I haven't been myself for ages.  I send you all peace and light, and letting you know that you are never alone, it's never the apocalypse.  Take it from someone whose clawed there way out of the dark, nature is both loving and cruel, everything happens for a reason, lesson learnt, let's bounce. xxxxxxxxx